Only a Week Away

I thought I would be more disciplined about writing, but then I got distracted. It is a week until I begin the later part of this journey to Malawi. For some reason over the past few weeks I have actually been distancing myself emotionally from the trip. I am not completely sure why, but I suspect that I am missing my family already, and if I put the trip to the back of my mind, then I won't think about missing my family so much. I have never left them for such a length of time and I really wish they could tag along. But this is a journey for me and the team and God has His plan in motion.

I feel as if I am on a roller coaster ride and the car is climbing its way up the rail. When one gets on a roller coaster, the car slowly moves up the rail the tension and aticipation increases, and whether you want to get off the car or not, you are faced with the crest and then the long way down, the thrill or terror of the ride. It takes a good measure of faith and trust in the car and track to get on a roller coaster and go on the ride. Well for me it takes a lot of trust and faith to travel to a foreign country. I am content to send others on missions and I am not an adventurous person. But I knew that God wanted me to go to Malawi, and although I am anxious about the ride, I know that I can put my trust in God and that He will see me to the end. The ride has already begun and soon the car will crest and the thrill part of the ride will begin.

What I have learned is that God continually asks us if we trust Him. He says, "Do you trust me Amy? Do you really trust me or do you think you have a better plan?" I want to say, "Yes Lord, of course I trust you." But the reality is that sometimes I lack that trust and do things my own way. I guess we all do that.

"Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey." The words of this hymn are so right on. If I were to say no to God and would have chosen not listen to Him and not go to Malawi because of my fears and insecurities, then I know I would not be happy. I would be feeling regret and wondering what I would be missing. So although I have anxiety and reservations and sometimes feel like I am not trusting as much as I could; I know deep down that I had to trust and obey His plan for me. For that is the source of my peace.

I am really excited to meet the boys from Safe Haven and share my love for them with a hug and a song. I know that my presence there will bring them hope and reassurance that they are not alone and that God does love them. I am excited to bring back stories and share with others what I have seen, heard, tasted, and smelled, because I know if they can feel what I felt while on this trip they will want to do something too. But I have come to realize that this trip was for my benefit too.  God wanted to heal me in some areas and help me to trust Him more; of this I am convinced. I have more to share, but I will write about that later.

Thank you for supporting me in prayer or otherwise. I am grateful for faithful friends and for your encouragement. Be blessed always in all ways.